i remember those times, when those unlikely scenarios would torment my mind. how i would dig my nails into my skin when no blade was around. how scratching up pink lines of peaking red would stop my body from shaking. how i would pull my sleeves down with the tips of my fingers to conceal this morbid artistry. how i would choke on my own sadness that arose in my throat. how I had to hold it all back, so no curious nobody would ask. how dull eyes would stare off into nothing hoping it would all just end. how i would fall asleep to a sad record on blast, thinking no one cares i’m trying to get better
…i’ll never be the best
i can’t forget those times.